A typical Day : Part2

TIME:9:47

Not paying much emphasis to that slimy street-dog( Maybe he was having a bad day too- That makes us both wonderful companions; After all a dog is a man’s best friend!), I took to my bike, which was wallowing in mud! Apparently, the last date for servicing was years ago, and yours truly could not find up enough courage to clean it. Was I thinking of cleaning it Up?? U bet, I did! Then I ridiculed myself to have brought that ridiculous thought inside my head! Why do all the mundane stuff strike you at the most in-opportune time??

Without thinking about the answer, I somehow kick started it (Why? Coz the Electric Shelf, wasn’t working…that’s Y!!). The usual grrr…….Broom!! And it went on!! Surprisingly, the fuel indicator was showing fuel over the halfway mark, which led me to doubt its authenticity. Thanking almighty, I saddled the poor vehicle with my burly body, and it went off in a puff of dust!!

Vroooom……

“Dhoom machaale….., Dhoom machaale dhoom!!”

I had Seen the movie Dhoom2 the day before, and the Hrithik Roshan inside me was bellowing full swing! I decided to race at 80 but then I realized I didn’t have a helmet. “Better to be an Ankit with an intact body, than to be a Hritik Roshan with a split one!!”, I said to myself, and had mercy on the accelerator.

Shit!!
I forgot my helmet..!!
I cannot go up, and get it…A wastage of 5 more minutes was un-affordable! I decided to play on my luck!

I whoozed past the Pedestrians, and they were all staring at me. I wondered whether I was looking human. I had long back broken my rear-view mirror, so I had to remain content with the hope that I was! It was impossible that they got a hint that I didn’t bathe ! Not possible. From hairs??
Naah…!! One’s hairs are always messed up while driving a bike!! Then How come……??

I was thinking of the gorgeous Shikha while driving. She was my college crush. And that too, big time one. She was a gorgeous female, for whom, any sane guy would have given his 2 legs, 2 hands, 2 eyes, and 2 brains (yeah, humans have 2 brains Dumbo!!) !! She was a year junior to me, and was a complete studies freak, Just like me! Yeah, I am kidding! But really, she WAS! Though I never mustered enough courage to talk to her, I was sure that she occasionally glanced me flirtatiously, but my friends never thought on the same lines. They were all probably jealous !
But I never ever got to talk to her. She wore this cute smile, when I looked at her, and I flashed mine, and that used to be the end of story! I had desires……….which remained desires. Thanks to my “fattu” nature, I always manage to screw my life!

So those un-manifested desires had to be vented out somewhere. So why not in dreams?? I dreamt 7 days continuously about Shikha, especially after I got a news that she had got a job at a company in Ahmedabad! The dream that I just saw tonight, was the 7th part of the sequel that had started a week ago, and today was going to be the climax. After 7 days of hard fighting, had I come to a stage in which she was going to propose me, and hell, The Alarm clock!!

I am gonna sue Nokia!! For sure!!

I reached the First traffic light. It was RED! N there I saw the ‘yama”, Indian God of Death, wielding a baton in his hand. He was dressed in white uniform and adorned a white cap. The traditional Lungi and the Gada were missing though, which made his recognition a bit late. And then it occurred to me, that I did not have a helmet.

I always wondered why the ‘creatures’ called Traffic Policemen exist, especially when they have no role to play in the food chain. These burly, fatsos, good for nothing demons, would pounce on you for absolutely NO mistake of your own! Not having a helmet is a crime??? Then why don’t you punish the streetwalkers and the cycle-waalas? In India, more cycle-waalas cause an accident, than anyone else. Hence, law should be wielded uniformly. It is My life. I don’t wanna protect it…My wish!! Why the hell must I be fined for THAT?? God gave me a life, not YOU !!
But I knew that Logic far outweighs a policeman’s callous brain. A policeman is a creature, devoid of rational thinking and meant to have absolutely no empathy, leave alone sympathy. He is there for a mission, & that mission, is to amass as big a fortune, that shall make his 17 generations live opulently. This he does by harassing and bullying poor creatures: US ! And I suspect, he derives a malicious satisfaction from his job as well!

My first reaction was “ Hey, He is alone! I go to gym, he does not! I can easily rough him up, beat him to death, and no-one will even notice. In fact, people are so fed up with the atrocities of these traffic cops nowadays, that they will even Help me in this noble cause!!
Then I noticed the baton in his hand, that was the replacement of the ‘GADA’. I dropped my plan!

My mind started working on overdrive. The policeman had not yet seen me. I could sneak from an another way. But what if there is an another policeman in there ?? No! I cannot take a risk on time and fate. The only option remaining is to pray that he does not look at me, till the light turns green, and when it does, Zoom in between the vehicles !! One cannot be stopped in middle of a green light, when one is surrounded by vehicles!

Murphy’s Law
“ Things will go wrong most, when they shouldn’t”!!

Was Murphy a pessimist?? Maybe, but he deserves a Nobel for that Law! It is the most applicable law of science, and sadly the most irrefutable. How I wished right now that he was wrong!

I had almost worn a look of self congratulations on my face for hatching such a devious idea, when fate gate-crashed into the party. Murphy’s law proved itself experimentally yet again!
Apparently, fate had told this prying Yama, that there is a feeble Soul to be devoured, which is without protection (Helmet, I mean!!). He was marching towards me, just as the butcher walks towards the fearful lamb, which is going to be butchered. He had this cruel smile on his coal black face and dumbbell shaped moustaches, which proclaimed his intentions to me, in a shouting spree !!

My wallet was seeming a lot heavier now, and I was sure, that it was going to lose weight soon. And I shrugged on the thought of the Cop, killing 10 minutes of my time. I was already getting dead late!!

I could have given anything for that light to turn green right now !!
I stared helplessly towards the traffic signal, so as to avoid my impending fate, that was wielding a baton and marching towards me. Time does stop when you are in middle of a calamity! I was getting a living proof of Time-Anti-Dilation!!