The restaurant Odyssey: Part 3

"Can I have Ur order mam??"
" I will have Extra cheese burger, with caramel toppings, extra layer of beef with extra mayonese sause, alongwith DIET coke"-She said.
(Was she famished?? Did’nt look so !!

There are times, when U wonder WHY you were born...Worse, Y do people having a 100000 calorie burger diet insist on DIET Coke....WHY in the name of GOD?)

"Sure Mam..." I said, wondering about what MARATHON would she be running in her spare time, to maintain that svelte figure after eating that diet !!
"By the way Mam, I think I have seen U somewhere...On TV perhaps ! Do U mind giving me the autograph please??"(2 mints over...Good going already..Just the intro remains! Think think...)

"Ya, Sure...Why not?"
(Yess.....the arrow hit the bullseye in the darkness !! Tukka kaam kar gaya !Hey what tukka?? She is so good looking...Had to be a model on TV ! I was perspicacious enuf to sense that: My mind was blabbering)
" And one more favour Mam, if I am not asking for much...My friends are on that table...It wud be great if U can wave to them n sign them an autograph as well. They are a big fan of yours too !!"
"hey, did'nt YOU come from that same table right now ??"
"well..mam...err...I....err.."
" Hitting on me, U cheap coot !!!!!!"
"Mam U R........"
*SLAP*

I came out of my day dream as water splashed my face. I had taken the route to the washroom, instead of going to her directly, to BUY time n that was paying good dividends already. Saved me a slap already.

Not good enuf. That bastard Swami was clever enuf to include that condition in the bet that I hafto introduce her to them ! Shit..I am doomed. This trick won't work at all.Think Ankit--U moron-think....Where is all your thinking gone...Hibernation??
Your TRAIN of THOUGHTS have refused to leave the STATION buddy, I heard myself saying.Think think...there has to be a way !!!!

Lets begin !!

"hi there....This is Ankit....Ankit Agrawal"(In the lines of Bond....James Bond !)
" I have been studying(can I say OOGLE here...NOPE...DEFINITELY NOT) you since U came to this restaurant. I wonder if I have seen you somewhere ?"(would that be a nice opener???)

"ha ha...Every Tom dick n harry uses this punchline man ! Think of something new ! U R not getting anywhere with me by using cliches ! Better luck with someone else, WEIRDO !!"

I heard her say this in my head ! Ohkay..Weirdo is better than a slap.....M progressing already....Cool !!

The waiter in the restaurant stood beside me, wondering what this CARTOON is doing for so long in front of mirror, when he doesn’t have a face to show in the mirror!( I am sure he would have th8 me as a cartoon..I am certain). Un-amused by my histrionics, he brushed me aside, had his hairs styled, n went off !!

(Y the hell does he need HIS hairs styled....Is he eyeing that beauty too?? Shit..!!)

Naah...He went into the kitchen...Maybe his love interest was waiting there...Gone for GOOD I hoped..!!
I went along with my train of thoughts.

"Can I talk to you for a second.....please"
"Yes, what is it??"
"I want to discuss with you an urgent matter, can I take 5 mints of yours?"
" Just now U said a second"
" I mean...."
"ok....Is it really important?"
"Matter of life n death"
"ok..Go on"
" My mom is seriously Ill...She has an extreme form of Hypertenso-nostalicano-Catapurved Tendenitis of ganglions"
(I thanked my Bio professor to help me with ganglions, which I know had something to do with body parts"
" I am a doctor...N I know such a disease does'nt exist...U bastard !!"

*SLAP*

Naah...Not possible...She can't be a doctor....That is a chance I hafto take nowLets begin again!!"

" My mom is seriously Ill...She has an extreme form of Hypertenso-nostalicano-Catapurved Tendenitis of ganglions"
"ohh...I am soo sorry to hear that....Whatever that means"
" ya I know. She needs some blood urgently, and my family doctor,who also happens to be your family doctor too, told me that only one patient in his knowledge has the same blood group as my mother, and its YOU !!"
" And how exactly did he know I will be here at this time??"
"Well, apparently he happens to be an excellent astrologer too !!"
" what crap...That is not possible!!"
" what's Ur blood group??"
"A+ve"
"exactly...My mom also needs A+ve...Look that proves it !!"
" U R just hitting on me...I can just sense that...Go away before I slap U"*Gone..All hopes, outta the window*
I am running out of ideas.....It is already 15 minutes since I made the bet. It’s now or never. My mind went into top Gear, and a thought struck me.

I was ready for the final frontier.

* An ace of Spades*